still void

i dont know how far God will test me with my faith. As it is, I'm tired already. I want to thank Him for my excellence in academics but somehow I know that I'm not balanced anymore. I used to be so alive and so excited even in minute things. I used to appreciate life whenever I wake up. The money in my wallet doesn't matter that much and my feelings of utter happiness couldn't be replaced, not in eternity. How I wished I could feel happy again. My life's been so turbulent and no matter how I try to hide the tears and the great void of sadness, I couldn't. It is there and will always be there. To add up to my problems, I don't even know the solution or how to solve my problem. It's out of my hands. So, Lord Jesus, If you have even a little pity and care for me Pls. just grant my wish and make me happy. I am tired already and I need your help. If you won't do this for me, just please forgive me of all my sins and help me on finding a way so that my wish would be granted. I hope You still care for me. Pls. show my tired heart that You still care :(